Love Between Men by Shane Allison

Author:Shane Allison
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cleis Press
Published: 2014-03-17T00:00:00+00:00

DRESSED TO IMPRESS

Heidi Champa

I’m not wearing any underwear.”

I looked up, trying not to choke on the sip of latte that had just passed my lips. A coughing fit soon followed and I tried to regain my composure as all eyes in the café started to turn my way. Blinking away stray tears, I finally found my voice.

“What did you say?”

“I’m not wearing any underwear. I seem to have forgotten to put them on this morning. I just thought I would mention it.”

His eyes were shining; the corners of his mouth turned up in barely contained glee. His cup hit the saucer with a loud clank, and I watched as he shifted in his metal chair, clearly enjoying his freewheeling status.

“You forgot? How do you forget your underwear?”

“I don’t know. I guess it just slipped my mind. I was in a hurry to meet you and I just slid on my pants without thinking.”

“And you thought I should know?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, well that’s good to know.”

“Don’t you have anything to say about it?”

“What would you like me to say?”

He dropped his sports section, clearly feigning anger. His eyes were doing a lousy job of hiding his internal laughter, but his voice remained hard.

“So, what? It’s not sexy when I don’t wear underwear? Forgive me for trying.”

I shook my head, trying to understand the bizarre situation I found myself in.

“Well, I’m just saying that traditionally, it’s women who don’t wear panties when they want to shake up a relationship. Not guys.”

This time he laughed out loud. Now the curious eyes of the other patrons were on him, watching him cackle and struggle to regain his breath. I looked around, feeling self-conscious as he finally got quiet again.

“Traditionally? You’re telling me there is a traditional way to shake things up? That might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. God, Ben. Since when are you worried about tradition, especially when it comes to sex?”

He had me there. Lord knows, when we bought the leather restraints two months ago, tradition wasn’t the first thing on my mind. However, this was different. Wasn’t it?

“Look, Colin, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m just not that turned on by the thought of you naked under your khakis. Sorry. Free-balling doesn’t really do it for me.”

He sat back in his chair, and I waited for the comeback line that would put me in my place. It didn’t come. He just picked up his sports page and his cup of black coffee and pretended I didn’t exist. I couldn’t truly believe that I had actually offended him, but he seemed really mad. After an eternity of tense minutes, our cups were empty. He stood without a word and took them to the plastic bin by the trash can, making a special effort not to look at me as he went. When he returned, I decided to deal with the problem directly.

“Come on, Colin. Don’t be like this. It’s not really a big deal, is it?”

“Just forget I said anything. Come on, we should go.

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